


The Middle Goodbye

by writtenhistory



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-21
Updated: 2011-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-24 20:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenhistory/pseuds/writtenhistory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack prepares for the Doctor's long life to end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Middle Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> It's a death fic without the actual death happening and Ok so I don’t if know Time Lords die of old age, but I can’t think of the final “accident” that would allow this fic to work. Call it artistic license.

Jack moved carefully onto the bed. He stretched out, gently easing his lover to rest against him. The sleepy body curled into him, seeking his warmth and the strong safety of the embrace. He had gotten used to this over the years, the way this man would seek him out in his sleep, tangle himself into Jack every night they slept together. Jack wouldn’t have imagined it when they first had met.

Jack carded his hand through the wild sandy blonde hair. He smiled to himself, this hair seemed to have a mind of its own, as wild and erratic as the man himself. Jack always preferred the longer styles. Something to hold onto he had said, mostly just to get that look, stern but secretly amused. Black, brown, grey and blonde, but never ginger, he’d seen it all. It never really mattered to Jack, while his face had stayed basically constant, the face that would look at him with glee and such love had changed so many times.

The Doctor had never been his body, or the changing face. Sure he was beautiful to look at, exquisite to touch. Those weeks after each new regeneration when Jack got to explore and discover his lover all over again, find the new spots that would make him shiver, the touches that would draw out soft, and not so soft moans, were memories that Jack cherished. But the Doctor, beautiful as he might be was something that shined through each new body. It was his mind, his spirit, his sense of morality and justice. Even the anger and sadness that at times would still break Jack’s heart.

“Stop it, you’re brooding.” The soft voice came from the man, sweet but the tiredness sounded in it.

Jack laughed. “I’m not brooding, I’m lusting after your body.”

The Doctor snorted. “Some things never change.”

Jack wanted to laugh but the breath hitched in his throat. “I can’t do this Doc, it’s been too short a time.”

The Doctor opened his eyes looking up at Jack. Icy blue but as always frightening at the depth they held, looked at him with such kindness and love. Jack had always been drawn to those eyes, eyes that had seen everything, every moment of time and space. Even after witnessing horrors that Jack could only imagine, they could still sparkle with joy at the tiniest thing. It had been those eyes that had made him so nervous when he had met the Doctor that first time, they had seen past all his shields and banter and left Jack feeling naked under the gaze.

“A thousand years Jack, hardly a flash in the pan.”

“It is for me, I can’t do this.” Jack repeated. “I can’t live without you. I can’t wake up without you beside me, I can’t reach for you and find only empty space.”

“Everything has its time old friend, you must remember that.” The Doctor ran his hand lightly on Jack’s chest. The look of memory on his face, Jack knew, even now after all these years, there were things the Doctor kept to himself, still secrets he wouldn’t share.

“The time doesn’t need to be now.” Jack ground out, emotions raw, the grief already starting. “How am I meant to just keep going without you.”

“But you will. There is still so much for you to see Jack, so many adventures you are yet to have. Places I can’t go any longer.”

Jack pressed his face into the Doctor’s hair, breathing in the scent of the man he had loved for so long. He wanted to remember it, to store every piece of him to his memory. He wondered if he would still be able to remember the scent of his lover a million years from now. Time erases everything, wears it down like waves crashing against rocks. Eventually even the largest rock becomes sand slipping through fingers.

The idea that one day he would forget all those things he loved so dearly about the Doctor brought tears to Jack’s eyes. He’d needed this man for so long. The Doctor kept him on his path, even for those years when Jack had done nothing but wait his return. The Doctor was a part of him. It wasn’t the mad adventures, the wild chases through alien streets and distant pasts. Oh they were exciting, thrilling even, but it was those smaller moments, intimate times that Jack needed to hold onto.

He had spent hours watching the Doctor tinker with his ship. Sometimes it was intricate repairs done with a delicate touch, other times the Doctor would yank out wires and bang away at the console with a hammer. The TARDIS was his girl, the Doctor’s first love, and Jack took such joy watching him play and woe and argue with her. And then there were the looks, the Doctor’s face always so expressive. Tender, stern, heated, the times he would look at Jack with such amazing glee, or those secret smiles happy and sad that were only for Jack to see.

And then there were the touches. It had amazed Jack initially just how tactile the Doctor was. Perhaps it shouldn’t, even before, the Doctor had been quick to grab your hand, or pull you into a hard embrace. But now, and all those years there had been so many touches. The Doctor would link his fingers with Jack as he worked, there would be a brush of fingers over his arm, a thigh resting against him. Arms would wrap around his waist and lips press against his skin. Jack often wondered if all those centuries devoid of intimate contact with another had made the Doctor desperately crave it.

“I’m never going to see you again, never going to feel like this.”

“Yes you will Jack.” The Doctor grinned up at Jack, that mischievous, infuriating smile that said the Doctor knew more than him. But then Jack should be used to that, the Doctor always seemed to know more than him.

“You can’t. Crossing into your own time line, Doc, you know the rules, you’ve beaten them into me enough.” Jack was stopped by a finger resting against his lips. He couldn’t keep himself from kissing it.

“There are things I can’t tell you Jack, but I will tell you this, after I’ve gone, you will see me three more times. I won’t recognise you, won’t know it’s you. Over the years a prophecy will develop around you. Knowing you, you’ll probably start it. But with your last breath you will tell me something important, you will tell me I’m not alone.”

“My last breath, that will mean I will die?” Jack asked.

The Doctor nodded, looking deeply at him. Jack didn’t know how to react to this news. In the beginning all those years ago, all Jack had wanted was to be normal, to be a human that would die. Now he found out one day that would happen. Normally being told of your death would be upsetting, but a part of Jack cherished the idea. Not that he sought out his death anymore, even knowing he would have years without the Doctor. The Doctor had help Jack relearn the joy of living, the brilliance of seeing and leaning new things.

“Wait a minute, if I give you this message with my last breath, then…”

The Doctor grinned, a smile so alive that Jack could believe in that moment that there were still years in front of them. He stretched up and gently pressed his lips to Jack’s, a kiss that was full of love.

“Yes Jack, I’ll be there. Just as you are with me now. All those years from now, you’ll know me and you won’t be alone. I won’t know you Jack, but yet, I’ll love you.”

Jack felt a tear slip from his eye and trail down his cheek. They won’t have forever. He knew, that within days his Doctor would be gone, gone forever. He would have to grieve then continue living. But they would have these moments. The Doctor wouldn’t be alone in the end, he would die knowing he was loved, die feeling his hand held, the gentle soothing caress. And when it came his time, Jack would have the same. When he finally ran out of life the one person he would want to be with him would be there. The Doctor may not recognise him, these years together still in his future, but as he said, the Doctor would love him and Jack would know.


End file.
